A True Friend's Heart

Yosh! Yukata, may kasunod na. Matagal kong inisip kung anong isusunod kong ilalagay sa blog ko. Marami nang magandang nangyari after ng last post ko. My friend and brother’s birthday and my birthday… I’m really happy that time. I’m so thankful for my parents who raised me, for my relatives who nurtured me and for my friends who accompanied me all throughout. But then, it’s not actually the reason why I want to write right now. This one is for a friend.

Aica. That’s her nickname. When I first met her, I just want to call her by her given name. Iniisip ko na parang ibang ka-boarding house lang naman s’ya. Magkakilala lang kayo, nakakasalubong mo pag-uwi galing trabaho, nakakabatian mo kapag rest day. Pero habang tumatagal, nakikilala namin s’ya ng pinsan kong si Joan na kasama ko din sa boarding house. Even my mom root for her. Kahit ‘yung ibang friends ko. Mabait talaga si Aica. Masayahin din. Halos lahat natutuwa sa kanya. Pero s’yempre may iba rin na hindi s’ya gusto dahil sa ilang aspeto ng buhay n’ya. Pero kahit na. Para samin, kaibigan talaga s’ya.

Matagal-tagal din kaming nagsama. It was August of 2009 when we first met her. Kasama namin s’ya sa mga gala at gimik, shopping, grocery at kahit na sa paglabas lang para bumili ng makakain.  First time kong mag-bar and disco ng walang kasamang matanda, though she’s two years older than me. Naalala ko, tatlo lang kami noon, kasama ‘yung pinsan ko. It was cool. We dance ‘till we’re exhausted, we drink all night and we enjoy meeting other people (hehe, mukhang exaggerated).  Sa kabila nang mga gimik namin, magkakasama rin kaming tatlo sa pagsimba tuwing Miyerkules o Linggo ng hapon sa Baclaran Church. Sama-samang humihingi ng kapatawaran sa mga nagawang kasalan, nagpapasalamat sa mga biyayang tinamo at humihiling ng mga bagay na ikabubuti namin. So sa lahat ng bagay, partners in crime kami.

And when we thought that everything is in the right place, there comes problem and trial that threaten the current life that we all have. There came a time that I can’t come to all the gimmicks we have because of work. I didn’t even know that something already happen to them. And then, we got news. She became pregnant. At first, I really don’t believe her. Or actually, ayoko lang na matakot s’ya kapag na-confirm na magkaka-baby na s’ya. Pero nung nakita ko na gusto rin naman n’ya magka-baby at ready na s’ya, I thought it’s better to support her.

Parang ang bilis nang lahat. Maraming nagbabago pero si Aica hindi. Mabait pa rin s’ya samin. Tunay na kaibigan. Mapagbigay at maalalahanin. Even though she is carrying a baby, she’s still there supporting us. Giving advice for every time we experience uncomfortable situation, kahit nga sa lovelife o kahit ano lang. Kapag binibisita namin s’ya, tatanungin n’ya agad kung kumain ka na at iaalok sa’yo ang anumang pagkain meron s’ya. Maraming araw din ‘yung hindi kami nagkikita pero palagi pa ring nagkakamustahan. May oras pa ngang nagkasakit ako. At kahit alam kong nahihirapan s’ya sa pagbubuntis n’ya, s’ya pa rin ‘yung tinawagan ko. Dumating s’ya agad na may dalang isang prutas. Haha, sobrang na-appreciate ko talaga. At akalain mong sinamahan pa n’ya kong pumunta sa hospital at maghanap ng clinic na nirekomenda ng doctor kahit madali s’yang mapagod dahil malaki na ang tiyan n’ya. Anyways, that’s few months back. She already gave birth to a healthy baby boy.

Iba talaga si Aica. Marami pa kong gustong sabihin pero hindi ko na alam kung anong uunahin ko. Iniisip kong nagtatampo si Aica kasi hindi na ko nakakasama sa kanila, hindi nakakapunta sa mga imporatanteng okasyon sa buhay n’ya at hindi nakakatulong sa mga problemang kinakaharap n’ya. But I know she’s not like that. Kahit konti lang ang ibigay mo, maa-appreciate n’ya. Kahit konting bati lang, matutuwa na s’ya. Dahil ganun s’ya. A true friend who doesn’t ask for anything in return for all the things she has done for us... Pero tulad nang iba kong post, bakit nga ba ito ‘yung naisip kong ilathala. Simple lang, nakita ko s’ya kanina after few months. May kinuha lang s’yang gamit at uuwi din daw uli sa Bulacan. We had a short conversation but I remembered all the kulitan, tawanan, gimik, takas at kahit awayan.. She’s really one good tomodachi..

Walking Down The Memory Lane..

Young. Ano nga ba ang age limit kapag sinabing bata ka pa? Because I'm the eldest among my siblings, kapag tinignan ko sila, sasabihin kong bata pa sila. Syempre ganun din ang impresyon ng mga magulang ko sa'kin. Nakakagulong isipin. But I guess I wanna be young forever. Well, everybody does. Ang simple kasi nang buhay kapag bata ka..

Ang iniisip mo, konti lang. Kumain, matulog, pumasok sa eskwela. I still remember when I was in Kindergarten, I'm always practicing on how to sing and lead the "Lupang Hinirang" in front of the class. Kahit sa bahay, pina-practice ko kung paano mag-beat. Gusto ko nagli-lead dati eh. My mom once told me that I also like to read during those times. Kahit ano daw makita ko, binabasa ko. Kahit mga signboard sa school, sayings sa simbahan, mga kung anu-anong letter sa bahay at pati komiks na usung-uso dati. Lagi ko rin sinisigurado na may laman ang lunchbox ko. I remember my favorite was Magnolia Chocolait (not sure if my Chuckie na that time) and Hansel Mocha Sandwich. Haha.

Masaya rin during elementary days. Mas child-like. Naglalaro nang Chinese garter, sumasali sa intrams, napapagalitan ng teacher, magca-camping sa girl's scout at ga-graduate with honor. Six years na iikot 'yung mundo mo sa mga ganitong bagay. Hindi pa masyadong pressured. Came High School. Medyo pressured. Preparatory for College. Pero mas exciting. These are the times where you explore more. New friends, boyfriend-girlfriend, JS Prom, more extracurricular activities, including puppy love and first love. :)

And of course, College days (Well, I understand some of us was not able to go to college due to some circumstances). Anyway, for me it's not as exciting as I am in high school but these are the times where you experienced more and more pressure. Group meetings, projects, presentations and thesis. However, among all of those things, this also the time where you broaden your horizon, you meet new friends, you join an organization, you meet half of the world. A time where you gained experience to face what they call as real world.

Parang kahapon lang. 'Yun'yung laging sinasabi kapag binabalikan mo ang mga bagay-bagay na nangyari sa nakaraan. I started walking down the memory lane about few hours ago. I was on my way out of the village together with my sister when I saw my friend. He's standing by the car parked in front of their house. He greeted me and I smiled. After seeing my sister riding the bus, I went back home and saw my friend standing on the same place, this time he's laughing while looking somewhere. I tried to catch his sight and asked, "bakit ka tumatawa?" He answered, "tignan mo sila, matatawa ka." I looked where his eyes is headed to and found kids playing at the swing and slide. I smiled and felt a little prick at my heart.

I looked back at my friend's face and tried to search for something. I'm not sure but I think behind that smile, there's sadness and regrets. You can say it's paranoia but I think he wants to do the things that the kids are doing right now. Playing, laughing, teasing. As well as back to where there's no complications. Where everything is simple. I myself, longed for same thing. Once again, to feel the happiness it brings when my mom got a "pasalubong" for me, when my crush said that he likes me, when I tried my best to go home early to watch my favorite show and of course when there are still those times when I'm not thinking of the same thing that I have in mind right now.. when we are all young..

It All Started With Yukan Club

Yukan. Leisure. This is where it all started. Few days before my college graduation, naghahanap ako ng mga bagay na pwede kong iuwi galing University. Bukod sa mga gamit sa eskwela, memorabilya, naghanap ako ng mapaglilibangan kapag nasa bahay na ko. I'm not into movies pero nung time na 'yun, bigla kong nagustuhang manood ng mga japanese movies. Series to be exact. I was influenced by my roommates. Wala kaming japanese class nung college but we're always practicing to speak the language kapag nagkukulitan kami. And I find it really amusing kapag pinipilit namin bigkasin 'yung salita in japanese way. Ne?

"Ano.." It's a filler. Just like "ahmm.." Pero kapag binilisan mo para kang nagtatanong ng patungkol sa bagay sa Filipino. Anyways, going back.. It seems my very first favorite jap word is Yukan. Simply because it means leisure. And I really enjoyed watching the series, Yukan Club. It's about a group of rich students who solves cases to protect their friends, family and their school, St. President Gakuen. It's a common story, if you're gonna think of it. But there's something with Miroku (Akanishi Jin), Seishiro (Yokoyama Yu), Bido (Taguchi Junnosuke), Yuri (Minami), Noriko (Kashii Yu), and Karen (Suzuki Emi) that made me watch the series over and over again. I think six to seven times ko na s'yang pinanood.

Maraming beses na, tama. 'Nung una, kasama ko 'yung kapatid ko, tapos inulit namin. Pinanood ko uli kasama ng tita ko tapos inulit uli namin after few weeks. And then, I shared it with my friends. After few months, pinanood uli namin ng kapatid ko at kailan lang, pinanood ko uli. I bought the disc last 2009. And yes, unfortunately marami na s'yang gasgas. But still, I can't forget most of the scenes. Kaya ko pang i-kwento lahat ng episode. Paulit-ulit mo ba naman panoorin.

Ang pinaka gusto kong scene, s'yempre 'yung final episode. Astig. I feel like watching an action movie with a bit of comedy, drama, adventure, suspense at lahat-lahat na. If you're going to watch the whole series, there's also a touch of horror. Almost a detective story. I also realized by that time that I need a group. What we call as barkada. It's not that I'm not friendly, in fact I'm Miss Congeniality. Haha. I do have a group of girl friends but not boys. They're just common friends, companion or boyfriends but not what as we call as barkada. The series made me want to go bak to time and grab the people whom I want to share laughter, tears and adventures with.


Parang ayaw ko pang matapos 'yung palabas 'nung pinapanood ko 'yung last episode. Ang daya, bakit 'yun iba sobrang haba ng story, bakit 'yung Yukan Club, 10 episodes lang? I think it's not enough, there should be something more.. Pero sa tingin ko rin 'yun 'yung isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit paulit-ulit ko s'yang pinanood. Hindi mahaba pero maganda. Kahit 'yung OST maganda rin. Keep the faith. That's the title. It was sung by KAT-TUN, a japanese boyband where Miroku (Akanishi Jin) and Bido (Taguchi Junnosuke) belongs to. "No, no, no, you show me the faith.. Kanarazu, I'll keep it for you.. Orera ga akari wo tomosu kara.. Hitori nakanaide keep the faith! Sono koe hanaretete mo.. Kokoro wa kono basho ni aru.. Yume mite taorete tachiagare..Subete kakeru no sa keep the faith! which implies that you are not alone. Just keep the faith and believe in your best friends. And surely, they'll keep the fire burning for you.. At the least, that's what I think, hehe.

It all started with Yukan Club. Yes. That's what I can say.. because after that, I started watching Japanese movies and series. And best to say, almost addicted to them. It still amaze me. It feels like the writer, director, actor are reaching you through the scenes. You want to solve puzzle with them, you want to share the same wrath with the antagonist, you want to cry and laugh with them. I also have my share of favorite bands, actors and actresses. And if someone could decipher "something" from my blog, they will know whom I'm addicted to. Haha. It's actually a lame clue. Anyway, maybe I'm a real Otaku for sharing this info on my blog. And also I think I belong to.. Yukan Club!

This or That?

Yes. No. It's really hard to decide sometimes. Kung bibilihin mo ba ang isang bagay o sa susunod na lang. Kung mag-iinvest ka na ba o ise-save mo na lang. Kung pink ba ang isusuot mo o red. Kung magshoe-shoes ka ba o sandals na lang. Ultimo kung 'yung papel na pera mo ba ang ibabayad mo o 'yung barya na lang. I guess I am one of the million people who can't easily decide. At kapag nagbigay agad kami ng desisyon.. Lagot! Sangkaterbang pag-iisip at pagsisisi na naman ang mangyayari. I'll even seek for my friends' opinion while not telling them that it has already been settled. As if may mababago. (laughs) :)

Alam ko sobrang weird isipin pero minsan kapag nakapag-decide ka na tapos tinanong mo 'yung friend mo and you have the same opinion, nakakagaan ng loob. Parang, "sige na nga, okay lang, hindi lang naman ako." Well I guess decisions are really hard to make. You have to consider everything (for my case). You have to think of the positive and negative sides. You have to consider where you can be satisfied, less regrets. 'Wag 'yung basta na lang.

Meron namang iba na nag-dedecide na hindi na masyadong kino-consider 'yung mga bagay-bagay. 'Di kaya 'yun masaya. Mas masaya ako kapag masaya rin 'yung iba. Ayoko ng ako lang 'yung masaya. Kasi, if you're going to think of it, it's not happiness. It's just a fleeting moment that you thought your happy and then later, you'll realize you're not. Why? Because you can't share it with somebody. Sa'yo lang.

Anyway bakit ko nga ba naisipang ilathala ang nararmdaman ko ngayon? Ah, oo nga pala. Nahihirapan akong mag-decide ngayon. Maaring nakakatawa ito para sa iba pero meron akong kailangang desisyunan. Isang desisyon na kahit bata madaling makakapag-isip. Our weakness. Shopping. Nag-iisip ako kung lalabas ako at gagastos o manantili ng lamang dito sa bahay at mag-update ng blog.

Para sakin ang mga ganitong bagay ay hindi madaling desisyunan. Kapag may kaibigan akong gustong sumama, madaling mag-oo. Pero sa ngayon, halos lahat ng tao busy. Hindi na maisingit ang mag-shopping. For me, it somehow a hobby. It's not a sport activity but almost one. (laughs). You have to walk, look around, fit, even run. But I'm not saying it's my hobby (gulo). Sa panahon ngayon marami kang dapat paglaanan ng pera. Hindi lang shopping. Kaya hindi ako makapag-decide. (laughs).

I know it will be hard for everybody to understand this kind of situation. Wala naman talagang kwenta. Kakaiba. Hindi na kailangang pagtuunan ng pansin. Ngunit para sa isang kagaya ko, parte 'to ng normal na buhay. Hindi na bago. At hanggang nagyon, nag-iisip pa rin ako. Magsho-shopping ba ko o hindi?

Palm Sunday

Yes! I made it! It's Palm Sunday yesterday. Sa sobrang dami ng tao, hindi ko naisip na makakapasok ako sa loob ng Baclaran Church.. Nagbebendisyon pa lang ng mga palaspas nang dumating kami. The people were seriously listening to the commentator. And I can't even lift my hand to wipe my sweat in my forehead or cover my nose because of the foul smell that the heat and the body created. Medyo masakit na rin ang paa ko sa pagkakatayo, dumagdag pa 'yung sakit ng paltos ko sa paa dahil sa sandals ko. Pero okay lang, atleast nandoon ako.

Ang mga tao hindi pa rin tumitigil sa pagdating, kahit nasa gitna na ng misa may mga pumapasok pa rin. Pero syempre, uulitin nila ang sunod na misa. Naniniguro lang sila na meron silang mauupuan. Whew! People! But then, dun ko na-realize na ang mga tao talaga laging may soft spot. Kahit siguro ikaw na ang pinaka-batong tao sa mundo (hehe, bato? tao?), meron ka pa rin nun. I even saw a man sitting prettily who lends his seat to an elderly. Though it's a common way of showing kindness, it melted my heart.

Mob. Para kang nasa 1vs100 at nand'yan and mob na kalaban mo nung patapos na 'yung misa. Hindi namin alam kung san kami pipila para tumanggap ng banal na kumunyon. Queue, queue, queue. Sabi ng pinsan ko sa may gitna daw kami pumila kaso sabi ng isa pa naming kasama, masyado daw malayo, maghintay na lang daw kami ng lalapit sa may gilid ng simbahan. Tinamad? Haha.
  
And we started to get wild after the mass. Parang concert lang, sa end nga lang kami naging wild. Kasi naman magbebendisyon na daw ng palaspas. Sobrang winawagayway ko na 'yung palaspas na hawak ko pero mali pala. Sa simula kasi 'yun ng misa. OMG, hindi namin naabutan. Nah, We arrived in the middle of it and 'di namin agad nakita kasi ang daming tao. 

Perseverance. Haha, 'yan 'yung hindi nawala samin nung time na 'yun. Dahil may next mass pa, hinintay namin uli magsimula.. Nakakalungkot at nakaka-bother  lang kasi may batang nawawala, sa sobrang dami ng tao. And it's more bothering 'cause she's a special child. 'Di ko alam kung nakita s'ya kasi 'di naman in-announce. Anyway, go pa rin ako sa pagwagayway ng palaspas. After 20 mins, nag-start na 'yung next mass. I desperately raised my hand and even tiptoed just to have a drop of Holy Water. 

Ilang minuto na lang. Konting wagayway pa. And suddenly the kids behind me started to make a conversation. Siguro mga nasa elementary palang 'yung mga 'yun. Hmmnn.. Grade 1 siguro. Sabi ng isa na mas maliit ng konti, "bakit ba tayo pumipila dito?" Hindi sumagot 'yung guardian nila pero 'yung isang bata na chubby 'yung nagsalita. "Para sa palaspas!" Good job! And then suddenly... "at saka baka bibigyan nila tayo ng pagkain." Haha. I almost burst into laughter. Hindi halatang malakas kang kumain kiddo! And finally padating na ang pari. Dahil humirit 'yung chubby na bata kanina, humirit din 'yung isa. "Uy, tignan mo, shineshembot nila 'yung palaspas. I-shembot din natin." Ano daw? Haha. Winawagayway ang tawag d'yan. And thank God, dumating na 'yung pari. It's great, my palaspas had its share of the Holy Water. :-)